Friday, December 14, 2018

Saddened by Your Absence

I can’t believe this sadness I feel by your absence

I was more saddened by you not saying goodbye 
Did I hurt you for saying ‘NO’ coming with you?
You know why, I am not free to be with you

I am surprise by all these crazy daily thoughts of you
I can’t stop thinking about you, crazy but it’s true
But everyday I see you which is worst than I thought
I am not free to explore these crazy feelings for you

Everyday I ask myself why, I can’t ask for more
God loves me, he gave me everything I want in life
I can’t ask for more but why I am saddened by
The thoughts of making you mine is impossible 

I try to diverse my thought of you by pushing you
To like someone else, so these feelings will go away
Yet I was hurt by the thoughts of you will liking  her
I was surprised and happy to know, you don’t like her

I don’t want you to fix your physical insecurity
Because you will start looking and liking someone else
I don’t want to share you with someone, I am selfish 
I want you to stay single and I am not free to love you 

I cannot give you the physical satisfaction, because 
I am not free yet I am selfish, I want you to stay free
I don’t know what I want from you, what if you ask? 
Where will I place you in my life ?